Can you have too much of a good thing?
Words are powerful, but you should use them responsibly – as I’m sure Peter Parker’s uncle would caution you. Consider this in your use of descriptive writing.
The first time I read that a character shrugged off his coat, I thought it was a cleverly accurate description. By the second time I read it, I was less impressed. Whenever I read it now, I can’t help but sigh. Why is this?
From school onwards, we try to expand our vocabularies and find different ways to describe things in our writing. We admire the language skills of the authors of classic literature. Consider this:
‘Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! A squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old sinner…’ (Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol)
This is good stuff. And it’s a wonderful feeling to discover – and to read – a different way to describe an action, person or object. Those words have strength; they are noticeable and memorable. But therein lies the potential difficulty.
As readers, we remember powerful words
This means that:
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- we will notice when they are used again
- when we read them again, particularly within the same book, we will be less impressed and may even think the writer is lazy – which would be unfair
- our attention is drawn to the action, person or object described.
That last one may not seem to be a bad thing, but consider this: did my attention need to be drawn to the way the character took off their coat? Replacing he shrugged off his coat with simpler language – he took off his coat – could prevent that distraction.
But did I even need to know that the character had taken off their coat? We generally do take coats off when coming in from outside, but I would suggest that we do so without really thinking about it. Would we include – or want to read about – other necessities of life? I’m pretty sure that Jack Bauer never once went to the loo during any series of 24.
Keep your reader’s attention where it’s needed
In the quote I mentioned, Dickens’s use of multiple strong adjectives, metaphor and similes ensures that his reader’s attention is securely focused on that character. This is appropriate: Scrooge is the principal character in A Christmas Carol; there would be no story without him. To echo the famous opening of the book, if we didn’t know, to begin with, what a thoroughly objectionable character he is, then – is this a spoiler? – there would be nothing wonderful about his delight and generosity at the end.
You should, of course, use language to the full and explore new and interesting ways to describe your characters, settings and action, but the power of those words should be used to engage your reader’s attention with the story: that is what will keep them reading it.
Re-read and revise
Don’t worry about getting it right first time: Charles Dickens may have written A Christmas Carol in six weeks and without an initial outline or draft, but the manuscript is full of revisions. If you have a story to tell, then I would say that you should get on with that and then go through and revise it later.
Editing your own work can be hard – particularly if you have become attached to a particular piece of descriptive writing – and so you may prefer to let someone do that for you. A professional editor will not criticise or judge you but will work with you to improve what you have written. If you would like me to help you to present the best version of your writing, please get in touch.